I’m beginning to think that Merriam-Webster’s third-grade teachers failed them. Their definition of intentional is to do something with intention. Am I the only one who heard Mrs. D’s voice say, “You can’t use the word in the definition of the word”? Giving Merriam-Webster the benefit of the doubt, I decided to move past this and look up the definition of intention. The first two definitions are located below.

Intention: a determination to act in a certain way, resolve; import, significance

In my practice and in my own life, I have come to believe that these two definitions are linked. To act with intentionality is to act in a certain way with resolve because of and to show import and significance.

Being an extrovert by nature, I believe there is a time for spontaneity and going where the wind blows. Having matured into my older adult life, I have learned that even in this I can have intentionality. When I was in my 20s and early 30s I had a career in retail management. This meant long hours and often late nights and weekends. While it allowed for lots of interaction with people, which as an extrovert I needed, it also meant being confined in four concrete walls for what was often more than 12 hours a day. When I had time off, even for just a day, it was not unlike me to decide while at work, that when I got done around midnight, I’d be driving to the beach. I’d hop in my car and drive 3-4 hours and arrive when everyone else was already asleep. I’d sleep in my car or on a friend’s porch until people started to stir in the morning.

In can be said that I didn’t do this with intentionality. I acted in the spur of the moment based on time and finances available on that day. AND in reflection, I can tell you that there was a level of intentionality. I was creating in my life what I needed most: spontaneity, connection with friends and nature, stress-relief, and rejuvenation.

So are there times when I’m truly not acting with intention? Absolutely. That marathon of reality television on a topic I don’t even really care about (think Storage Wars) when I think I’ll relax for an hour and all of a sudden I realize I’ve watched 6 episodes straight! Or when I reach for a quick “snack” and shortly realize I’ve eaten 90% of the bag of chips in one sitting. These may have started out as an intentional choice, but I didn’t act with intention. I didn’t remain mindful. And “auto-pilot” took over.

Mindfulness and intentionality are huge buzzwords in society right now and have been for quite some time. When individuals meet with me for the first time it’s not uncommon for me to hear one of two statements, “I’m really into the mindfulness movement and want it to be part of what we do” or “I can’t do that mindfulness stuff and if you try, I won’t come back.” As a result I find myself always asking first, “What’s your definition of mindfulness and what does it look like in a practical way?” And it’s not long till I begin to add the word intentionality into our conversations. Soon, regardless of where they started on this spectrum we end up finding words like “acting mindfully” creeping into our conversations.

Why? Because people that I work with want to build a life worth living. Buildings, unlike weeds, don’t just pop up overnight. They take acting in a specific way with resolve due to and to show import and significance. Being intentional with our time, talents, finances, and other resources means acting in a specific way with resolve due to and to show import and significance.

  • Act in a specific way: This is a choice. Perhaps you are engaged in an activity like art, music, your occupation, parenting, driving. Whatever it is, you choose to do it. And you choose the way you will do it. The challenge when acting with intentionality is to do it one-mindfully, to fully participate in it and to give it your full attention.
  • With resolve: Folks, if acting with intention were easy and didn’t take refocusing and redirecting our attention, it would be labeled “auto-pilot” because we’d all do it, all of the time. It takes resolve. We continue to act with intention (although we may make course adjustments) even when it’s hard and even when results do not appear to be immediate.
  • Due to (import and significance): Why do we choose the specific way we do this specific action? Because of our values. The direction we want our life to go, the things that are important to us, the guiding principles we have chosen. Even the act of engaging in an action mindfully is based on a value. You do it because _________. Well, I guess I’ll have to let you fill in the blank because the value that drives you to reach for a life worth living may not be the same as mine.
  • To show (import and significance): One of the greatest experiences I think we get in life is when what we do aligns with who we are and the values we have chosen. The freedom in that moment is immeasurable. It can’t be this way every moment of every day. And yet it can be more often than not. At no time has filing been at the top of my valued actions. I find it mind-numbing and am often distracted by all the other things I could be accomplishing. Yet, running a business that complies with all ethical and legal requirements and puts my clients’ safety first IS a value. So when I remind myself that the only way to do the latter is to do the former, I can choose to act with intention. In my relationships I may intentionally choose to fully participate in activities that I do not value (with my full attention and energy, without complaining) because I very deeply value my relationship and the other individual.

Science continues to prove over and over that our ability to direct our attention to specific events, whether internal or external, is tied to our perception of living a life worth living. If you want to experience a more fulfilling life, try incorporating intentionality into each day. Maybe you set aside 10 minutes a day to walk. Maybe you spend 5 minutes a day doing brain-teasers. Maybe you just stare into the eyes of a loved one. Intentionally choose an activity that aligns with your values and then engage in it for a determined period of time giving it your full attention.

Create these small moments of intention every day for a week, and then let us know what the experience was like for you!