Part 1 of this series focused on the fact that you are BRAVE! So today, I’m finally getting to the second part of this series. You are WORTHY! When I sat down to my computer to type this, it isn’t what I thought I’d be writing on at all. But, when I think of those who have sat opposite me in my office, I think this is the message I find leads to the most healing.

When you seek out counseling or other help, so often there’s a voice inside that tells you, you’re not worthy. It may be clear-cut and use those words, but instead, it tends to show up in covert ways. “You should really be spending this time/money on someone else.” “It’s really selfish of you to get help.” “Others have it so much worse than you, don’t waste the counselor’s time.”

Other times it’s not a voice, but a pattern of behavior that is evident. Probably the most evident pattern, and the focus of this post, is the pattern of hiding. I’ll never forget very early in my career I had the honor of sitting across from someone who bravely showed up and yet struggled with her pattern of hiding. She displayed this pattern by wearing very heavy winter clothing. Despite the fact that the room we were in was very easily 75 degrees, she never removed or adjusted her hat, scarf, coat, or gloves. She also had a very large purse that she clung to and kept firmly on her lap blocking my sight from much of her body.

Hiding is often a reaction of fear and of the message that we aren’t worthy of being seen. It was my honor to continue to find ways to share with this person that she was worthy of my time, attention, care and focus and that I wanted to “see her.” I was thrilled the first day that the bag was set on teh table. And even more excited the day there was no scarf or hat. Our journey was brief, as it often is when you are a beginner counselor in your practicum/internship phase, and it taught me so much.

So, when you sit with me, I want you to hear and feel that you are worthy. You are worthy of my attention and you are worthy of paying attention to yourself. If you are hiding, that’s okay. AND it’s okay to stop hiding and step out to engage in your healing journey.

How are you hiding today? What’s the message that led you to believe you “should” hide? The cure to hiding is to show up in this present moment. We tend to hide due to hurts of the past and fears of future pain. In this moment, we can choose to show up. But in order to do that, we have to be able to turn our mind to this very moment in time.

So, take just a moment and answer these couple of questions:

  • Where are you RIGHT now, physically?
  • What can you hear? List 5 things.
  • What can you see? List 5 things.
  • What textures are around you and how does your body feel in this environment? List 5 things and be sure to include internal and external experiences. It could include things like temperature, pressure on your legs, internal tension, or the texture of the bench or chair you’re sitting on.
  • What is the taste in your mouth right now? Even if you’re not eating or drinking, notice what IS there rather than what is not. Just notice it.
  • What can you smell? Notice the aromas around you.

Once you’ve gotten in touch with this moment, take a moment to turn your attention to your breath. What’s the temperature of the air you’re breathing in? What about the air you are breathing out? They are not the same. Just by existing you change the world around you and are changed by the world.

With this renewed sense of presence and contact with this present moment. Choose a small way to show up around you. It might be to smile first when someone passes you on your walk. It might be to say hello. It might be to text a friend with whom you’ve lost contact. It might be to really push yourself out of your comfort zone, to try something new, to explore. Whatever it is, take one step. And just notice how it feels to show up.

It won’t always be easy. It won’t always result in new awakenings and people won’t always respond positively. But, one thing I can guarantee is it will never happen at all if you only hide. Hiding keeps us from getting hurt and too often keeps us from getting the things we truly want.

So, listen carefully. You are BRAVE and you are WORTHY. And that’s the view from my chair.