Growing up the Golden Rule was taught everywhere; in the home, at school and in communities of faith. But, today it struck me that perhaps we should look at the reverse of the Golden Rule. So, as a quick refresher, the Golden Rule states “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”  And for the most part it’s pretty right on! It’s echoed in other mottos such as “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

But, what happens if we reverse it? “Treat yourself the way you treat others.” My guess is that there are two probable outcomes.

Outcome 1: We are all of a sudden not very pleased with how we treat ourselves. Perhaps you’ve been tired and less patient with others.  Or maybe you’ve been overly critical, expecting perfection. When you switch the Golden Rule, you’re likely to feel pretty crappy. I concede that this is one outcome.  And I also concede that if I’m brutally honest, I’ve been there. I have been guilty of pointing out everyone else’s failures while sitting in my own big mess. So, if this is the result of flipping the Golden Rule for you, refer back to the original rule!

Outcome 2: You realize all of a sudden life seems a bit better. You see, for many of us, we provide grace for others. We speak words of affirmation, we make them a priority, we spend quality time listening to them, we offer hugs instead of judgmental advice.  We are genuinely kind and wish them the best. Many of us (having learned the Golden Rule) do these things on a daily basis.

Yet, when it comes to our internal experiences and internal dialogue we are self-critical and have extraordinary amounts of self-doubt. We fail to make ourselves a priority. We have stopped listened to our bodies and our emotions. In fact, we spend very little time listening to ourselves or communing with our Higher Power.

I’ve been there! I am there! I spend my days really focusing on others, and sometimes that means I am not kind to myself. I focus on my flaws both inner and outer. I spend inordinate amounts of time either trying to improve my flaws or to avoid them. I don’t always prioritize listening to myself or my body. I have done it for periods of time, and I strive to do it regularly, and I know I fall short.

So, this is a reminder both to myself and to you.  Treat yourself as you treat others; with kindness, respect and a genuine curiosity to understand.